Does the term “fake it until you make it” turn you off because of the whole “fake it” aspect? Are we not being coached and prodded daily to live our most authentic, purpose-driven life?
Here’s why you should embrace the spirit of the message.
Where are you today in your accomplishments? Are you ticking off your goals consistently? Your results today are the direct result of the seeds you planted months and even years ago. These seeds consist of your actions and your mindset.
If you fast forward to what you want (your result) who do you need to become to get there (more organized, resourceful, better communicator, more engaged with your kids, more consistent)? Being aware of who you need to become directs your behavior today to achieve tomorrow’s goals. A tenant of karate is “wherever the head goes, the body will follow.” This applies in the quest for goal achievement as well. If your head isn’t in the game first, your actions will be unfocused and sporadic.
Let’s entertain for a moment what being truly “fake” means. There is the greasy, over the top version of the person that is screaming from the roof top about their success or popularity but the evidence suggest otherwise. Perhaps someone promises to personally handle all of a client’s needs, and then farms it out to his high school kids. Have you met someone that “stretches the truth” saying they have consulted with hundreds of firms when in reality it’s 10? This literal definition of fake means you are worried someone will discover you are a fraud. I don’t believe “fake it until you make it” is referring to this literally. The term came about to nudge you in an unfamiliar direction that will serve you despite the unease.
Think about a goal you are working towards currently. While I understand not wanting to “fake” the outcome of this goal, I believe many people take authenticity too far. They stick with a label that creates a detrimental mindset. Have you ever said something like “My wife always points out how disorganized I am” or some other flaw? Or maybe you hear your parents’ voices ringing in your ears – “My dad always said I would lose my head if it wasn’t attached.” There is no becoming. It’s accepting that you have this weakness and so you have a free pass when it comes to activities that engage this weakness.
We choose in that moment to keep believing a limiting thought. That’s akin to saying you are fine where you are, nestled firmly into your comfort zone. Yet, to grow your results, you must grow you which includes your skill set AND mindset. We mistakenly tell ourselves that our current situation and beliefs around our situation is our authentic self. This becomes a familiar excuse. From someone who coaches people on their mindset, I see the fallout. Adhering to your authentic – flawed – self will limit your success if not sabotage your efforts all together.
On the flip side, if you can embrace who you need to become, you are stepping into your future self and the results you want. Ask yourself, how would someone act who excels with this trait? How can I start to embody those traits? Sure, it feels foreign; but is it fake? No! For example, you know you need to be a better communicator when discussing roles and expectations with your project team. In the past, your projects tend to run long and come in over budget and your team seems disengaged. You understand good communicators are very good listeners and so you fight your normal tendency to jump with all the answers during your planning meeting. Instead, you listen and learn two new viewpoints from normally quiet team members that could dramatically speed up your project. This willingness to listen opened the door for your team to engage. The result is a project that will likely come in under budget.
Where are you clinging, to your detriment, a label or belief that you know in your heart will hold you back from success? While you haven’t hit your goal yet, how can you step into the traits you need to achieve that goal? Don’t let the semantics of “faking it” hinder your quest to achieve your goals.
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